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Abuse takes many forms – physical, emotional, verbal, financial, sexual, and spiritual. The question to ask is “Am I happy in this relationship? Are any of my needs being met? Is he/she building me up or destroying me?”. Your answers will determine whether you are being abused or not.
In a toxic relationship you feel fearful much of the time, walking on eggshells, never sure whether what you do or say will incur their wrath. You are not a priority; your opinions are not respected, they don't listen when you talk, and you feel frustrated, unloved and unable to please them. A toxic individual will refuse to resolve conflict and often bullies you.
The fact that you’re asking this question makes it highly unlikely that you are. Everybody has some narcissistic traits which are necessary for a healthy self-esteem. But when the traits become too prevalent and the person believes they are perfect, doesn’t take accountability, blames others for any perceived problems, feels entitled, exploits people and has no empathy, they are undoubtedly narcissistic and may even have NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder).
Absolutely. Scroll down on this page and you will find a list of Youtube videos and podcasts given by professionals on the topic. We also recommend books to read that explain codependency and how to heal so you don’t attract the same type of person again.
In a Support Group you meet others who have been abused and truly understand what you have been through/or are still being subjected to. You can share your difficulties in a safe space, either on a WhatsApp platform, or face to face at one of our meetings. The Support Group members listen, empathise, understand and assist you on your incredibly challenging and courageous journey to health and healing.
Scroll down on this page and you will find a list of a variety of professionals, all of whom are very familiar with narcissistic behaviour and can give you the best advice.
Yes indeed. Besides our Johannesburg group, we have a face to face group starting up in Cape Town, and our goal is to have groups throughout South Africa. The WhatsApp Support Group/s can be joined by anyone and if needed, you could request a mentor. We also have a Facebook page entitled Courage to Change.
No amount of love you can give to an abusive spouse will change who they are. The initial “love bombing” or “idealization” phase where they confessed their undying love for you and appeared to be all you’d ever wanted in a partner, was just smoke and mirrors. A narcissist is not capable of truly loving their partner. They see us as merely an extension of themselves there to meet their selfish agenda.
There are 8 kinds of emotional abuse: Aggravation, Intimidation, Denigration, Humiliation, Manipulation, Domination and Condemnation.
You can use another name and remain anonymous on this site. We’ve called it Courage to Change for exactly that reason as it doesn’t refer to narcissistic abuse. If he/she sees you’re going onto this site, he/she will just believe you are finally taking steps to seek help as they believe we are the ones with the problem.
Courage to Change - Narcissistic Abuse Support Page
A Personal Development and Recovery Programme for victims/survivors of narcissistic abuse compiled by the founder of NASG. Sessions can be held face-to-face in Bryanston, Johannesburg, or remotely which is just as effective. With a lifetime of experience in narcissistic relationships, Joy has the expertise necessary to facilitate the empowerment and healing of victims/survivors of narcissistic abuse.
The personal development aspect of this course includes goal setting, ascertaining what one’s core values are so you can live in alignment with them, limiting beliefs and how to change them into beliefs that serve you, rules around how to feel good more often, the 6 human needs, communication and projection, responsibility versus justification and blaming, changing your mindset, and discovering your unique identity and life purpose.
The course has been tailormade to address every area regarding this insidious type of abuse.
Equipping clients with the tools and coping techniques they need when dealing with a narcissist, and empowering them through the process of awareness, acceptance and action, to take back control of their lives.
It’s a courageous step to acknowledge that we as co-dependents have flaws, but absolutely essential to do the healing work so you no longer attract narcissists into your life. The healing journey is difficult and painful, but one you will never regret! Survivors need to focus on themselves, practice self-care, learn to set boundaries and communicate assertively. One can only move forward and find a healthy relationship once you’ve done the work and know who you are, assured of your value and worth.
There is LIFE, LOVE, JOY, PEACE, and FREEDOM after abuse!
Contact [email protected] for details.
When we met, I was in a mess. Stuck in a rut and couldn’t move forward. Although I had 5 years of narcissistic and codependent research and experience, I didn’t know what to do with it. I was going around in circles!
I was separated from my narc partner but reached out to you due to unhealthy patterns showing up in my family of origin. An argument between my mother and sisters was the catalyst. By confronting that issue together with your coaching skills, I was able to better understand myself and shift my awareness positively. You gently coerced me to put in the work and do the exercises (especially the goal setting one which I THOUGHT was a waste of time and turned out to be the most successful one – thank you), and in the process my family relationships improved, my self-confidence sky-rocketed and I am able to make firmer decisions. I have gone No Contact with my husband and found the strength to go through a legal divorce.
What I liked about you is that you are approachable, available, and affordable! We did the 10-week coaching sessions at my pace over 6 months. This helped me to process my thoughts effectively and gave me a chance to implement what I was learning. I am now more confident, happier, and thriving; better able to make decisions and set boundaries without feeling like a bad person. I have been reminded of the good in me, celebrate my strengths and accept my weaknesses … all of this I had forgotten about myself due to the narcissistic abuse that I had endured in my 10-year marriage. I am ready to face my challenges head on, realize that healing is an everyday process that never ends but evolves. I am now ready to be of service to others armed with experience and knowledge.”
- Sumaya Kahn
These 2 courses were compiled by Psychologist, Dr Lize. Please click on her website for more information www.healingthemind.co.za. Dr Lize has many years of experience, a wealth of knowledge, and employs a large variety of healing methodologies to assist survivors who have been traumatized due to narcissistic relationships.
Medico-legal, trauma counselling – adolescents and young children mainly
083 350 2628
084 868 5270
Your Space for Wellnesss
7 Zircon Avenue
062 455 8353
Dr Lize Visagie
258 Weltevreden Road
084 509 7777
Giada del Fabbro
Forensic and Clinical Psychologist
79 Oxford Road
066 293 9205
41 Durham Street
083 268 6562
14 Sanders Road
073 632 7269
082 583 9187
5 Melkhout Crescent
082 346 1590
Highlands North Medical Centre
Cnr Louis Botha & 3rd Avenues
011 885 2237
673 Eagle Canyon
083 268 0404
083 266 1692
4 Francis Road
083 792 2662
862 Wekker Street
083 452 0255
012 997 1210
082 311 0396
5 Gray Terrace
Office: 011 616 7351
Cell: 083 626 3279
35 Ayton Street
299 Kruger Ave
072 212 1719
082 929 7218
Clinical Psychologist/Mindfulness Consultant
W: 011 726 5846
Cell: 071 897 5407
Top floor, Block F
Homestead office park
37 Homestead Road
Cell: (+27) 066 259 1627
Cell: (+27) 83 272 7017
46 Roeland Square
50 Drury Lane
Cape Town City Centre
Cell: +27 76 292 9654
Adult and Child Therapy
5a, Franschoek Road
Cell: 071 592 9690
Transformational Coach (breath work)
073 294 3964
083 602 5112
082 728 1926
Cnr Bokmakierie Street and George Rex Drive
Lower Old Place
084 806 4775
37 Dennington Ave
083 449 5375
Creative coach, pottery and art
31 Franci Roaad
083 655 1509
Pierre van Mossevelde
Nutritional Health Practitioner (Live Blood Analysis)
127 Greenway Village Green Shopping Centre
076 405 0664
Steph Dawson Cosser
082 888 1584
Occupational therapist who gives talks regarding mental health
29 Murifield Road
(+27) 11 646 9649
Unit 19 Pinehurst Lodge
2 Hogsback Ave
081 774 7196
083 480 0822
Family intervention, support and counseling, mediation
19 Recreation Road
Office: 021 782 6958
Cell: 073 587 5960
Brenda LaneClinical Social Worker
082 576 7549
072 895 8090
The Mesh Club
2nd Floor Trumpet On Keyes
21 Keyes Avenue
076 085 5301
JHB: 011 083 8332
CPT: 021 813 9665
41 Durham Street
087 135 3030
92 Loop Street
Cnr Cradock and Biermann Avenue
Office: 086 099 5146
Cell: 076 011 60623
Bedfordview Office Park
3 Riley Road
Office: 011 892 5064
Cell: 078 434 2158
165 Cornelis Street
084 829 7594
Gascoine Attorneys – family cases
W: 011 234 1021
C: 081 043 1915
Attorney / Mediator
1 The Avenue Cnr
C: 083 377 1908
W: 011 483 1527
Pieter Moolman Attorneys
(Uncontested divorces for under R1000)
89 3rd Avenue
011 023 4530
Miller Du Toit Cloete Inc.
Suite 1002, 10th Floor
80 Strand Street
(+27) 21 418 0770
30 Jellicoe Ave
011 328 1804
Burger Huyser Attorneys
49 1st Avenue
011 888 0246
(+27) 82 257 4217
Christel du Toit
Financial advice pre- and post-divorce
082 852 7610
Desai Attorneys & Associates
General attorney, including family matters
11 Military Road
074 268 4951
021 224 0032
Yosef Shishler Attorneys
Divorce, mediation, family law and litigation
41 Durham Street
010 599 5950
Benatar Attorneys Inc. -Family Law
Unit 16, Sunninghill Office Park
4 Peltier Drive
083 390 0311
D&K Management Consultants
PRIVATE INVESTIGATORS and Risk Consultants
7 Van Riebeeck Street
011 824 0334
John van Onselen
Brunsdon Attorneys Inc.
30 Calendon Street
082 803 5734
3 Hampden Road
031 836 0307
Divorce, post-divorce and family mediation. Settlement agreements and parenting plans.
12 Prinia Avenue
084 688 8664
Psychology, love, relationships, romance – www.thepowerofsilence.com
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support – www.queenbeing.com
Global Support Group – www.narcissisticabuserecoverysupport.com
Christine Louis de Canonville – www.narcissisticbehavior.net
SomaSensing Somatic Therapy – www.somasensing.org
Mental health radio – www.mentalhealthnewsradionetwork.com
Ross Rosenberg – www.selfloverecovery.com
Quora – www.quora.com
Becoming who you are – www.becomingwhoyouare.net
Psychology Today – www.psychologytoday.com
Psychotherapy and Psychology online training – www.nicabm
Dr Eric Perry – www.makeitultrapsychology.wordpress
The Neuromovement Revolution – www.anatbanielmethod.com
For the Intense, Sensitive and Gifted – www.eggshelltherapy.com
Advice on narcissism – www.drcraigmalkin.com
D: The dark factor of personalities – www.darkfactor.org
Help Guide - guide to mental health and wellness – www.helpguide.org
+ SUPPORT GROUPS – www.SupportGroups.com
Inner Bonding - Margaret Paul – www.innerbonding.com
Dr Lize Visagie – www.healingthemind.co.za
South African Association for Social Workers in Private Practice. Can assist in family court, and also do trauma debriefing.
066 472 3638
Social welfare organization.
072 254 5009
Free counselling and shelter provided to all SA women in need. POWA has 6 satellite offices and 2 confidential shelters.
011 642 4345
Domestic violence, sexual assault – confidential services provided to all victims at no charge. 24hr free SMS service. Emergency Shelters.
010 590 5920
0800 055 555
CHILD WELFARE SOUTH AFRICA
074 080 8315
24 hr mental health line 0800 456 789
Substance Abuse 24hr helpline 0800 12 13 14/SMS 32312
Suicide Crisis Line 0800 567 567
Depression and anxiety help line 0800 70 80 90
Akeso Psychiatric Response Unit 24hr 0861 435 787
Police and Trauma Line 0800 20 50 26
THE TRAUMA CENTRE
021 465 7373
THUTHUZELA CARE CENTRE
Care centres for rape victims
Chris Hani Bara 011 933 1140
Koponong Hospital 016 428 5959
Mamelodi Day Hospital 012 841 8413
Tembisa Hospital 011 923 2180
Assists in cases of domestic violence and trauma, divorces and mediation
011 975 7106/7
In need of trauma counselling or support please contact lifeline on 0861 322 322. Offering phone or face to face counselling
JHB 011 728 1331
Midrand 062 155 4770
Benoni 011 421 0384
Pretoria 012 804 1853
Soweto 011 988 0155
Krugersdorp 011 665 2281
Alexandra 011 443 3555
For codependent people in relationship with addicts 24hr helpline
0861 252 666
Codependents Anonymous SA
Support for men who were sexually abused
078 457 4811
Legal assistance so parents have equal rights to see their children
011 339 6080
LAW SOCIETY OF SOUTH AFRICA
THE FAMILY LIFE CENTRE IN PARKWOOD
Mediation for divorce – done in front of 2 trained mediators at a subsidized price.
Soweto 011 984 4290
Pretoria 012 542 1121
Psychiatric Hospitals - inpatient and outpatient treatment for a range of psychiatric illnesses ie anxiety and depression, substance abuse and addiction, eating disorders, ageing disorders and PTSD.
Clinics throughout SA
AKESO Response Unit – 0861435787
Emergency contact 011430 1890 24/7
DEBT REVIEW SOUTH AFRICA
Determine What You Can Pay at reduced Interest. Debt Administration, Debt Counselling, Debt Review.
087 700 5609
TEDDY BEAR CLINIC
011 484 4554 (Office hours only)
For Women – Gender Based Violence Command Centre
0800 428 428
Family violence, Child Protection and sexual offences unit
0800 150 150
Halt Elder Abuse Line (HEAL) – helpline for elderly people
0800 003 081
Woman Abuse Helpline
0800 150 150
Lifeline Counselling Number
0861 322 322
Suicide Crisis Line
0800 567 567
0800 456 789
Pharma Dynamics Trauma Helpline
0800 206 026
24hr Substance Abuse Helpline
0800 121 314
Human Trafficking Helpline
0800 737 283 (08000 rescue)
082 455 3664
SAPS Crime Stop
National Crisis Line
086 132 2322
South African Police Service – Crime Stop and Anonymous Tip-offs
Flying Squad/SAPS Emergency
Dr Reddy’s Mental Health Helpline
0800 212 223
South African Federation for Mental Health
011 781 1852
Central Gauteng Mental Health Society
011 984 4038
Adcock Ingram Depression and Anxiety Helpline
0800 708 090
SA National Council for Child Welfare
011 339 5741
Law Society of South Africa
0800 202 036
012 366 8800
NISSAAbused Women and Children
19 Link StreetLenasia ext 1
011 854 5804011 231 5050
POWAPeople Opposing Women Abuse
64 Mitchell StreetBerea
011 642 4345
176 Smit StreetBraamfontein
011 242 3000
C/O Millbourn Rd and Viljoen Street
011 614 3245
THE HOUSEGirls between 12 and 18 years old
60 Olivia RdBerea
074 587 7057
BIENVENU SHELTERRefugee Women and Children from 3 mnths
36 Terrace RoadBertrams
011 624 2915
JABULANI KHAKHIBOS KIDS CENTREBoys who have been on the street
1 High StreetBerea
084 620 1465
GROWING CHAMPIONSProvides safe houses for children born into unsafe and violent homes
FB group called Growing Champs
CBT – Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - focuses on how your thoughts, feelings and behavior influence each other.
DBT – Dialectical behavior therapy - works on the same things as CBT, but emphasis is given more towards regulating emotions, being mindful, and learning to accept pain
BWRT – Brainworking Recursive Therapy - Brain Working Recursive Therapy is a one-to-one talking therapy that gives you the tools to reprogram your emotional or habitual responses, through the power of your thought alone. Very effective way to rewire the brain.
NLP -Neuro Linguistic Programming - Using mind techniques such as visualization, you can change the way you think and feel about past events, fears and even phobias. Unlike Psychoanalysis which focuses on the “why”, NLP assists you to move forward by focusing on the “how” – empowering you to take control of your mind, and therefore your life.
TRE – Tension and Trauma release exercise - an innovative series of exercises that assist the body in releasing deep muscular patterns of stress, tension and trauma. The exercises safely activate a natural reflex mechanism of shaking or vibrating that releases muscular tension, calming down the nervous system.
EMI - Eye movement integration - is an innovative and amazingly effective treatment for posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and other difficulties stemming from highly emotional memories.
EMDR - Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing - is an interactive, systematic, and practical psychotherapy technique used to relieve psychological stress. It is an effective treatment for trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), as well as psychological difficulties stemming from traumatic events in childhood.
EFT - Emotional freedom technique - is an alternative treatment for physical pain and emotional distress. It is also referred to as tapping or psychological acupressure. People who use this technique believe tapping the body can create a balance in your energy system and treat pain.
Personal help is available for victims of narcissistic abuse!
Sometimes support groups and chat forums just aren't enough
and professional coaching from an expert in the field of narcissism is necessary.
Click below to book a very affordable session with the founder of NASG.
Get Help Now
Facebook - page
Facebook - support group
It is completely free to join the NASG forum and we welcome you into our community with open arms. All you need to do is send us your details via our application form: